The first time I ever cared and why
I did complete three decades on this real-life hell site. And now, life's blooming.
I turned 30 yesterday. Not once in my lifetime have I been excited for my birthday. Even when my parents celebrated it with a cake and calling over neighbours for a small tea+snack ritual, I wasn’t too excited about being the centre of attention and having to smile all the time. As I grew up, I justified my indifference to birthday celebrations by saying, “it is the world that should celebrate me and not the other way around.” Countless birthdays passed with this flimsy sham of a reason. But this time was different. Very different.
Between my previous birthday and this, a lot has happened. Excellent things, actually. Personal emotional development, trialing and erroring in putting therapy learnings to practice, managing visa procedures on my own, moving countries etc to name a few. I have found peace and growth in the new country, relatively. I feel brave and happy, most of the times. I have learnt to take my ‘failures’ in good spirit and look at what to learn from them rather than sulk and be bitter about it. I’d say that’s pretty decent.
It might be this culmination of good things that made me feel excited about 30, apart from the number in itself. People I grew up with always said that being 30 was amazing. It apparently came with lesser fear of perception by the society and more of owning ones choices in life. I agree. Being 30 does make me feel bold and brave — the nice brave, not the impulsive brave. It makes me feel good about having made it this far and has given me rainbow-tinted glasses to look at my future. Who doesn’t like a bit of colour, eh? It makes me feel grounded and calm.
Where I live now, I am surrounded by kindness. Or at least, that’s what I choose to see. My 30th birthday, the first one I ever cared about, was made fantastic thanks to all of my people — near and far. A little love, a little kindness doesn’t hurt anyone. I felt cared for and fluffed up. And I hope to pay it forward.
Here’s to an amazing year ahead and a fabulous decade of my life where love, good health, peace and success will rule. Sante!